Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
