I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
