just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
