Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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