It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
