Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
