Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
