member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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