we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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