She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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