belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
