i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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