the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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