youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
