can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
