am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
