Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
