Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
