its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
