No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
