oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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