Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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