you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
