But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
