I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
