she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
