Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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