you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
