I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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