SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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