oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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