4 words: hood of his car
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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