You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize