I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
