soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
