Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
