He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
pray to the hookup gods
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
