Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
