HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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