hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
