I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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