For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
