He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
