How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
