and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
