Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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