But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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