You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
