Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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