new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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