My sheets look like a crime scene.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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