guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
