We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize