I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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