Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
and you fell through a lawn chair
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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