Will you blow on my dice?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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