i will never coherently bang her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
