when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
