She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
