Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize