He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
