I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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