Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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