Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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