i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
