I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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