The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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