He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
