I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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