I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Someone came in the potted fern
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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