one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
