Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
