Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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