The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize